SAG-AFTRA Female to portray Featured Secretary. Acting skills required… Must be okay portraying terrified. Please note level of comfort acting on camera.
No one’s going to submit to this with the caveat “but I’m pretty shitty on camera.” Why even include that request?
[ RJ ] Mid-late twenties, deaf but his exuberant personality and sense of humor probably make him more fascinating than a hearing person. He is fearless and curious about the world around him. He wants to experience everything. (Non-deaf actors are welcome to audition).
I have been studying ASL for the last 9 months or so, and can say with certainty… this author is an idiot.
[ SMOKING HOT LOOKING GIRLS ] Female / Principal / All Ethnicities / 18 - 30. Looking for Girls who are smoking hot and really attractive. They’ll reject the Geek when he asks them to be his girlfriend but once they find out that he has Doritos chips they all get attracted to him and pounce.
Wait wait wait, both smoking hot AND really attractive? Your creativity knows no bounds.
UNION OR NON-UNION comfortable kissing on camera *same or opposite sex: please indicate if comfortable kissing, BOYS, GIRLS, OR BOTH
I will kiss neither boys nor girls. Call me when you cast men and women.
Also known as my average Saturday morning.
This “unique” idea involves the following “unique” characters:
- Male, 20-35, disheveled, overweight, loser.
- Male, 20’s-30’s, a true body builder physique.
- Female, 20-30, Blonde, pretty.
- Female, 20-30, Brunette, pretty.
- Female, 20-30’s, our damsel in distress. Long hair, will be in water
[ MOURNERS ] Spread of age 30s to 70s Island people, interesting faces, some fisherman, musicians, artists, older hippies, poets, actors - Caucasian.
There seems to be a cut and paste issue at play here, because this same exact list appears under “Garden Dinner Party Extras” “Birthday Party Guests” “People Leaving Party” and “General Extras”.
That’s a whole lotta white people, and a whole lotta fishermen.
THIS IS A SCRIPTED COMEDIC RE-RENACTMENT SHOW. ALL AUDITIONS WILL REQUIRE PREPARATION; THIS IS NOT AN IMPROV BASED SHOW.
So, believe it or not, “Sex Sent Me To The ER” regularly has some of the more respectful breakdowns I see, especially given their subject matter. But I couldn’t resist this gem from their recent post.
I shudder to think what sort of “improvised” submissions they’re receiving…
[ MAY ] Female, 35-65, any ethnicity. Supporting. Joseph’s wife who’s always dreamt of having her own child. After a messy miscarriage leaving her barren and scarred, she attempted to kill herself by slitting her wrists only to fail like delivering the child that she hoped would fix her and her husband’s already troubled relationship.
Maybe if we found a new word to replace “fail” this breakdown would have more “success”.
[MARIE] …when Richard shows up for the date and he’s a zombie, Marie doubts they have anything in common. Her impossibly high standards get in the way of seeing who Richard really is, and Marie must learn to reframe her expectations or risk spending the rest of her life alone.
I think a certain breakdown author has had a few too many bad internet date experiences…
Bigbosom is my new favorite adjective. It’s sort of like how the Germans string words together to make new concepts.
I’m only comfortable laying naked for casual consideration.
[ SANDY ] 25-35. High-class escort to the uber-rich. Completely, utterly and unfathomably stunning. Makes Victoria’s Secret models look homely. Street-smart, manipulative, she talks like a razorblade. Mildly sociopathic and lacks empathy at most times. Please don’t submit pretty actresses. Looking for perfect 10s who can act only. Thanks.
When pretty just ain’t good enough.
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